You’ve been on my mind since I saw your message last year— I haven’t stopped missing you and grieving our friendship.
It was special to me and one of the most important and core memories of my teenage years. You shaped me to appreciate kindness and to be strong. You were always the better of us both; resilient and so headstrong.
Where ever you are, Aileen, I hope you’re in a good place. I hope you’re not alone. I hope you are thriving.
When I think back to how we were when we grew up, fuck, that was so rough. . . I didn’t think I’d make it and when we lost contact I was so afraid you hadn’t made it either. I spent the better part of last year and this year mingling with death and all I could think about is what I would be leaving behind.
This world is so awful, so cruel and bitter. I feel it takes all the good and chews it and spits it back out like acid. But I remembered you. I remembered your kindness and how I would stay up late to talk to you and coming home from school was exciting because I’d get to talk to you more. Home was never good for me but you did that, you gave me a reason.
When I’m really low and I miss you I like to think that somehow you’re still giving me a reason. All the friends I’ve ever made online have a special place in my heart but you, Aileen, you have all of it.
I’ve never had a better friend. A more honest, down to earth friend who isn’t afraid to tell me when I fuck up or protect me when I needed it.
I just miss you. But thank you for being the best, genuinely. I think I’ll spend the rest of my life appreciating you even if we never talk again.
I love you so much.
I am so glad to hear Aileen, so so glad. I was so upset I didn’t see your message for the longest time and was hoping you were well. Do you have a discord so we can catch up? Mine is joo#0002. I miss you ;-;