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there's so much tragedy in the world. and no, i'm not talking about notre dame, even though it's been a reason to keep thinking about all the abuse in the world. and facebook isn't helping much either. getting posts everyday of abused animals... i know i've liked those pages out of my own will because i do donate some amounts to animal rescuers but i feel like it's too much... i bet there's something terrible happening every second, right now. why is it so hard to focus on the positive? the guilt is too strong, i guess. the guilt that i cannot truly help with every bad thing that's going on in the world.
this night feels weird. i hadn't felt this feeling in a while. feeling lost, not knowing what to do with yourself. feeling kinda lonely and left out. unheard. insignificant. of course, the first step to get better is to simply go to bed, it's 1:30 am. but at the same time i cannot really make myself to go yet. i feel like the internet is taking its toll on me again. take breaks from the virtual world, folks, we need to ground ourselves to our actual world sometimes. it's so easy to know what's going on in other countries, other contitents but what about our own? ah, this has turned into a rant. but it's a bit sad, at least for me personally, that i seem to know more about american politics than my own country's. and i'm not claiming i know everything about american politics, veerryyy far from it, which says a lot about how much i know about my country's politics. at least i know my president's name. if i didn't, now that would have been truly shameful.
anyway, my point is that maybe i should ground myself by continuing with my cross stitch hobby, maybe reading more, maybe actually studying.
never written here before, i think, even though i feel like i knew about this account. maybe it's because of this account that i started using my own numerous accounts as a journal. i made a paper, journal, though, back in 2014 and i rewrote most things from here on there.
anyway, i read all the entries thus far and it was quite fun. some were sad. some were really funny. it's amazing seeing what 12-16-year-olds were going through. i related to some things to an extent. i'm not too sure what to write but here it goes (i bet it might turn out longer than anticipated).
i feel like i've come a long way. after spending some time rewriting some old entries of mine, i can see how i've grown. i started more seriously journaling in 2014 when i was about to turn 16. i'm 20 now, going to turn 21 this year and it's crazy. i can barely remember my life before high school (before 2012) but it doesn't matter much anyway. i have been so insecure my whole damn life but i can finally say i am so much better. i'm still insecure about so many things but the self-loathing thoughts aren't as reoccuring as they were before and i'm much quicker to forgive myself for mistakes.
at the same time i don't feel like i've changed much, actually. i still listen to pretty much the same music. i'm still interested in psychology (majoring in it right now in uni) and programming (wish i spared more time to engage with it).
i remember that besides writing about how worthless i am in my journals, i wrote a lot about my crush. it took me almost a year or two to fully admit to myself i like this boy. and now he's my boyfriend, been together for almost 4 years and i couldn't be happier!
after reading everyone's entries, i hope that everyone is doing okay. i guess i've talked with some of you, not too sure with who anymore and it gets confusing with all this moving about in different accounts. we kept this site alive with our numerous stupid accounts, eh? anyway, i hope all of you are happy and have overcome your obstacles. i hope you have grown up to be someone you like because we're bound to live with ourselves, better make friends with ourselves, right?
i rambled too much, goodbye from me for now.
i'd like to see this page become popular again...
if you're still on this site and have friends on here
too, you should all totally use it! please and thanks
Nobody ever gets on this site anymore. I haven't been on here in what, 4 years?
crazy. I used to spend ALL day on this talking to people and making avi's and stuff.
Then i got a boyfriend, we got serious, then i got pregnant, and never really had much time anymore.
I'm 18 now and feel kind of stupid for writing in this.
probably because nobody will ever read it, but also cause it's kind of childish.
i miss being a kid. growing up sucks. so much has changed.
i just wish i could go back and spend all day on here again.
ive found myself coming on here just to see if anyone ever gets on. but nobody has for a long time. :c
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I stumbled upon this page and thought maybe I should write something here.
Hardly anyone writes here so I guess I should. GG is becoming more and
more deserted. I remember first joining the site. I was only thirteen then. Wow.
I met a lot of nice people! There's Joana, Regina, Sana, Angelica, Belle, Ally,
Naomi, and a lot more. I've kept in touch with a few of them but I have no
idea what happened to the others. GG used to be my life. It fulfilled my social
needs for about three years? Then people started leaving, and drama became a
trend. Man, this site changed my life. Really, it did. I'm kind of getting a
bit nostalgic here. Eh, I know you think I'm weird for lamenting old friends I
made on this site but oh well! I miss being so active here. Like, when I get home
from school I log in on my GG account and check messages from friends. Those
were the daysss. Now GG looks like some abandoned ruin stuck in the early
2000's. I guess some things do not change at all. I mean, who would even
sign up on this site when there's Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr etc.?
I guess that's just how things go. Eventually, people grow up and leave.
so basically, i was incredibly depressed for a couple of
months. but i was slowly getting better. summer and then
starting school always makes me kind of go back into that
depression state, but i think i'm going to be alright. i guess
that i wore my heart on my sleeve for too long, and i get
attached to things way too easy. but you know what? i'm
sick and tired of pretending to be somebody else for other
people, and i'm going to start doing what i do best. being me.
I decided to come back! I have missed this site a lot. But I
was searching for an hour, and I can't find Courtney. I miss
her. And I want to tell her all about my recovery...
A few weeks ago we had a school social river cruise, and Ryan
and I got really close. We danced together all night. Even
though before the cruise we were already really close, we
grew even closer. And since then, we've been inseparable
during our classes together (which is almost every single
class). And on our meditation excursion he was taking care
of me, and it was just a blast. We have a little game where
you shake someones hand, and if you flip it over and put
your hand underneath theirs before they do, they then become
your bitch. I don't even know where Ry got it from, but he
always beats me at it. He's such a sweetheart.
James keeps trying to knock out my fucking teeth. It's
really pissing me off. Everytime I say something about
it, he says that I'm on my period (even though I'm not).
And today, he passed a note to me in class, saying that:
"Brooke, you are like a grandma's vagina. Your old and
bitchy. And your a cow!! love James and Bang xo". SO me
and Chels were just like "Mr Rocchi will love reading
this!" And we left it sitting in front of us so we could
show Rocchi. But when we weren't looking, James stole the
note back and ate it! Ugh, frustration.
I'm looking forward to Christmas! I'm begging Mamma to get
me a 3DS XL with New Super Mario Bros. 2 and Pokemon White
2. I sure hope I get one. And if I don't, then I'll just
buy one with the money I get for Christmas. Hehe. But I
also need new creepers, a military/parka jacket, new tees
and new cons... And I really need to go op shopping and I
totally need to go into town to visit Tokyo UG to get some
new nintendo merch. And a totoro onesie!!
Last night I held a pizza party at my house. Jacob came, and so did
Brad and Ben. Alex & Rhys came over after work to help us set up.
Dani, Karen and Chels couldn't make it because they were all working.
So Krys, Leah, Georgia and I were the only girls. 4 girls, 5 guys. But,
it was a load of fun. But we didn't really watch any movies. We just
sort of sat around and had a bit of a chat. Me and Ben were mucking
around and now Jacob's a little upset at me. He's not jealous, he just
thinks I'm flirting with Ben. Ben is really sweet. He let me wear his
glasses, even though he thinks he looks weird without them. But I
think he looks fine.
School ends in four days. Then I get a two and a half week break.
And in that time, the Perth Royal Show is on. It's a massive fair,
and I'm hopefully going to go with Ben and Brad. And because I'm
working, I'll have a load of cash. So I'm fuckin' excited!
I got $100 from my grandma as a late birthday present, so I gave it
to my mum because it was my last money I owed to her. She lent
me money to get my ipad, and I paid for $300 of it and owed her
$200 and paid off $100 yesterday and $100 this morning when
Gran gave me money. And I got a late present from Aunt Nic. She
gave me $50 that I'm using to buy my side slit Von Zipper shit I
want. And using $10 out of the $30 I got from Kryssy to buy a
bustier to wear under my side slit singlet... AND I'm getting a cool
as fuck Rihanna side slit and its only $25 omfg.
I think I spend too much money on clothes. Every weekend after
work, I get at least one item of clothing. Yesterday I got a Adidas
Originals shirt which I wear with jeans (JEANS! IM WEARING
PANTS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MONTHS!) and my cons.
So that's all I can think of right now.
Peace, love, doms
It sure has been a while. Things have been complicated and life
has been a little tough. But here's what has happened:
I wasn't eating. I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't doing anything but blogging
and tweeting. But these two things were actually the biggest problems.
I wasn't eating or sleeping because some girls were giving me a hard time.
They were posting things on twitter and sending me messages on tumbrl,
telling me I'm a cunt, a slut, I'm ugly, fat, etc. I have been hospitalized
for these two things before. They put me on medication and everything is
fine now. I would have been fine without hospitalization but my family
My birthday was last week. I'm fifteen now, how exciting. Today is Ry's
birthday but neither Celeste or I are at school because we're both unwell.
That's all for now. It's a pain to type on my iPad.